Let me see through my eyes of old
With sight of today not under control
Moments in time I can never retrieve
Decisions then made my own heart deceived
Would I still see truth an understandable lie
Or for those words would today’s eyes cry
As never to be changed nor spoken again
Yet better understood absolved of blame
Alas in life this desire is only wish
Idle minds float to that which they missed
Still in play is a future to be scribed
So learn from the past and never again hide
For my shame I must admit
When beauty spoke the words I missed
On occasion I swam in pools
Not filled with water but glittering jewels
Gladly lost I could bathe for hours
Though only seconds my thoughts devoured
A description I lack for no words ever penned
Could bring to life what I can’t comprehend
With the passing of time their light shall not fade
For those eyes define the greatest beauty ever made
Well like at lot of things I love I think I will end this at a trilogy.
It occurred to me that other than first day I have described very little of the walking, of the rolling hills, the places we stayed or walked through and the food we ate. This is not because the days that followed were any less beautiful in scenery, enjoyable in conversation or satisfying in the quality of food and drink. But because that was only part of the experience and this was never meant to be a travel guide.
I had heard a little bit about the Camino and the effect it has on people before I left for my holiday and it’s safe to say I was perhaps a little sceptical. I have done a fair bit of walking in my time some by myself, some with a close friend and some in groups but never for such a concentrated time. As mentioned before I had no epiphany and I have not come home having found my faith, that being said I think I might know myself a little better than I did when I left.
I am not the type to lie to myself and am all to aware that my flaws are plentiful, flaws are what make us human after all. It is perhaps ironic that for someone who is in no way religious one of my favourite sayings is actually a prayer (the first part of one anyway).
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
There are parts of me I know I will never change, all I can hope is that I have wisdom enough to know that these are the right parts. I think I have known for a long time what I needed the courage to change but only really admitted to myself on the walk. Simply put I need to find a way to let the past go and move on. When you constantly fight to win battles that at one time you were unable to win, only to be reminded that those battles are long past and no longer have meaning save for what character they gave you. Then it’s time to let them go. That for me will be easier said than done but I never shy from a challenge.
If you were thinking of doing the Camino I could not recommend it more highly and hope that should you go the experience you have is every bit as memorable and long lasting as mine will be.
Lay down lay down forget the day
As with tomorrow those worries change
From stormy thought that chaos brewed
Which if left alone was nothing new
A fresh day dawned with troubled mind
Its twisting halls held no maps or signs
Leaving lost not an option but a fact
Those answers required to escape mental trap
But for want of more a maze still walked
Through it all were smiles and talk
When new moon sets and for a night does stay
Lay down lay down forget the day
The thought that escaped 