Useless

It will come in waves
Thats what people said
And I understood in abstract what they meant
That it will wash over you
Unrestrained and with no warning
It wont be every hour
Everyday
Or Every Week
But when it comes no dams can stop it
No walls you can construct will halt its flow
Like breathing
It just is until it's not
What I couldn't comprehend
What nobody can describe to someone that hasn't felt it
He says trying to put it in words
Is the helplessness
The sudden jolt from dreamland to nightmare
A blow that knocks the wind from your lungs as you sit alone
Tears that come in the middle of a sentance and steal the words from you mouth
Needing someone close
A hug or just a touch but never having the courage to ask
When an unreatlated movie scene breaks your resolve for no logical reason
Or that song lyric you never really got becomes the centre of your day
The energy you spent being ok 
A charred log fading to dust
leaving nothing behind to bring you back
Broken and lost
Crying in the light
Useless

A deafening silence

So here we go again
A silence not understood
Left in impotent limbo
I’d walk if only I could
But my mind replays the cruelness
Of a scared lie once told
Accepts the current pain felt
As the bill for goods then sold
I would like another chance
To know that I’m forgiven
Leave it all up to fate
And let our full story be written

what i would say

I know I have no right

That our worlds have spun so far

Maybe you should just be legend

A wish left on a star

But I just want to talk

As simple as that sounds

Nothing more or less than words

Just us, just now

To hear about your life

Listen to who you’ve become

Share another moment

Even if only one

For of all the things I regret

And I’m a man of many sins

My part in our exile

Stands above all other things

Reprieve

I wish I could listen to the logic
That the words I repeat would somehow break through
When the voice in my head is deafening
And age old doubts are suddenly new
Through the cloud of water in sightless eyes
I beg and plead for reason to rule
That belief may grow in simple facts
And make my demons slightly less cruel
I want to shout out loud the fears I hold
Set them free and see them breathe
Expose the weakness my mind inflicts
And pray that life brings silent reprieve

Still Waiting

I once waited and then waited some more

Till days became months and our story became lore

But as that time passed and life moved on

The light of your memory no longer shone

And yet still you lingered not willing to leave

The footprint of a thought whispered on a breeze

A name sometimes spoken in passing or tale

Would find a path to my ear never seeming to fail

At first it was a dager drawing silent blood

The bitter dependence of a unforgiving drug

Till the moment came when acceptance was found

I finally believed we were no longer bound

Miles from where I stood vows were spoken

The last vestige of hope now battered and broken

But as with all things the only constant is change

So with the lastest whisper even those memories fade

No longer the meloncoly childish belief in what was fated

Simply the thought of that smile for which I once waited