Archive for March, 2013


With the Dawn

It’s easy to get lost
To forget who we are
lay our heads on a pillow
Let tears fall under stars

Allow dark thoughts to take hold
Convince us we are frail
That alone we stand against dying light
Our own minds the cross and nail

A fragile rock made from china
Lawless, brave but ultimately doomed
When strength dissolves and will twists
Sinks without trance just shadow of the moon

With the dawn comes faith
That again you can rise
Power returns to the legs
That carry you through life

To feel weak is no shame
Fearing the unknown only right
But nothing yet has beaten you
So don’t give up the fight

Stupid Fucking Question

The Friday top 5

 

I have in my life worked in many different service jobs from bar and hotel management to telephone sales and banking (yes I said banking try not to hold it against me). This has subjected me to some of the world’s stupidest people, some of them made even more stupid due to copious amounts of alcohol. Now that may sound like I am elitist or that I have some thing against stupid people (hey I am no Einstein) and while yes I will admit overtly stupid people frustrate me to the point of screaming, stupid questions are by no means restricted to the stupid!

 

So today’s Top 5 is dedicated to all those people who have at one point or another benefited from my unique brand of customer service and in response asked me a question that has tested my patience, made me laugh out loud or is some cases actually ask the brain-dead fuck wit if they were taking the piss!

 

1. What time does the 1 o’clock gun go off?

Living in Edinburgh you are surrounded by history and traditions 24/7 and one of the oldest daily traditions is the 1 o’clock gun. Yes as the name suggests it’s a gun that goes off at 1 o’clock everyday, fired from the castle. I won’t go into the history or the reasons why it is fired (that’s what google is for) but needless to say it is like clock work that it is fired. Every time I am asked this question (yes unfortunately it happens more regularly than you could imagine). I just want to answer that the clue is in the bloody question.

 

2. Can I pay this cheque into my account over the phone?

So, as previously mentioned, in one of my live’s I worked for a bank in their telephone services. It never ceases to amaze me how clueless people can be when it comes to their own money (yes I still work for a bank, shot me now! though thankfully my telephone days are over). On being asked this question I struggled not to tell the mensa candidate on the end of the line “of course you can sir, just roll it up really tight and push it into the second hole from the left on your telephone receiver. It will then be paid directly into you account”.

 

3. Is there a human I can speak too?

I wasn’t sure weather to laugh, cry or just beat the woman with her own handbag. To this day I am not sure exactly what she thought I was maybe a robot, a zombie or a very well groomed monkey. Regardless I obviously wasn’t of the same species as this homosapien and she was not about to engage in meaningless conversation with a lower form of life like me!

 

4.  Isn’t it great that they built the castle so close to your shops?

OK so I admit this is more a mistaken statement than a question but in my defence the person speaking did phrase it as a question and indeed hang around for the answer. Now as this happened so many years ago I cannot be 100% sure of the exact wording but I know it went something along the lines of “My god yes it is great, we were o grateful that after opening their new store The Gap decided to build us a castle to say thank you”.

 

5. Do you want independence for Scotland?

Yes there is an agenda with this one, Guilty as charged. But as the title of the post suggests I think it is a stupid question! Why on earth would any sane person think that breaking from the UK would ever be a good thing? I won’t use this as a forum to preach political agenda but I will end with this……… If you vote for independence you are voting for President Salmond and nobody wants that!!!!!

 

I do love stupid questions. Whats the best one you have been asked?

 

 

Understood

Though I whisper you still hear
From miles away or standing near
Read between the lines I write
Find the truth I try to hide
Shy not from monster or man
Accept me for who I am

Silver Linings

Words on page to often cry
Of pain long past I wonder why
When so much joy about us springs
To cheer our thoughts and give us wings
Lift us from what brings us down
Make genuine smile from sullen frown
Memories live and in our minds thrive
Good or bad based in truth or lies
All have place and equal share
So give them voice and ample care
The reward we find within closed eyes
Are pictures that we can always prize

A statue on the stair

 

 

A small gathering lost in teenage rebellion

No parents around to quiet the noise

The eldest parties a rare moment of freedom

The youngest now sits apart by choice

 

Too 11-year-old ears a familiar sound

Draws him away from the gathered throng

To sit on the stairs hidden from view

An attempt to protect his family home

 

Outside the tormentors as always never far

Crowd in their masses awaiting the call

To advance on the target and begin their assault

Ever aware that the building won’t fall

 

Glass now thick through hash learned lessons

Stands the attack and refuses to break

Hammer blows fall and cracks begin to show

But still it withstands the outpouring of hate

 

As the hits rain down he shivers in the cold

Unable to move for fear of being seen

Stagnant in terror a statue on the stair

Praying for the chance to wake from this dream

 

But the nightmare is real and there is no escape

Even the blue lights bring only temporary relief

As soon as they go the onslaught resumes

Never ceasing to consider the inside grief