Tag Archive: grateful


Be The Light

It really is those small things that count
A simple thought or act of kindness
Can change a day before its begun
And leave a smile where before there was sadness

You may never know or ever be told
How much what you did could have meant
But in those days where darkness reigns
What to you was nothing made darkness relent

Though never thought through or perhaps understood
That one act alone could lift a weight
From shoulders weighed down suffering in silence
And in that mind threatening to break

So be that light not something that drains
Remember the gestures that lightened your step
Forget not the simple insignificant moments
For to someone else they’re memories kept

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12 Years

12 years, to some it sounds like the blink of an eye to others an eternity, I guess it’s a matter of perspective!

I have been considering that time frame for a good few months and in non to positive terms. You see today marked my 12 year anniversary of working for the same company (can’t tell you who as they wont let me). Not being of the most natural sunny disposition, I admit that my mood at the thought has been apathetic at best and at worst down right depressed. Choosing to concentrate on the negatives I found myself rehashing old grievances, lamenting decisions that would have taken me elsewhere and wondering what on earth possessed me to even apply for the job in the first place! I was willingly putting myself in a very dark place and was seemingly incapable of dragging myself out of a daily malaise.

Until today.

A simple platitude reminded me that it hasn’t all been bad. In fact the more I thought of what I have because of this job, either directly or indirectly, the more I realised that every bad day, every knock back and every time I have wanted to break down and give up were nothing in comparison.

While recounting every good thing would bore even me, there are a few highlights that for the life of me I simply could not imagine my life without.

Within the first year I would meet a man who has since become one of my very best friends and someone I am immensely proud to call a brother (of a family chosen not born). I remember so well him meeting one of my little sisters and the amusingly (at least to me) high school like way they got together. But get together they did and since then they have married and had 2 beautiful daughters.

Jump forward a few years and I was lucky enough to get a training job in Malta. A 6 month secondement that would come at a time in my life that I simply could not stay in Edinburgh any longer. What better way to run away than to get paid to do it in the Mediterranean. In those 6 months I met friends that I will keep forever, got to live and work in a foreign country, had countless experiences that my friends are now sorely sick of hearing about and fell for a local girl who will forever have a piece of my heart. I now count Malta as a second home and get back there as often as I can but far less than I would like.

I have 3 little sisters (again chosen not born) and had I not worked for this employer that number would be 2. For 3 years Sarah saved my ass and on more than one occasion probably my job but this is the least of what I am grateful for. It would take a far greater wordsmith than I to explain what my little sisters mean to me and how much I know I owe them. But for the last 8 years I have been privileged to know someone who has perhaps the biggest heart I have ever encountered and I only wish she lived closer.

It’s strange the way life works and it can be all too easy to dismiss things out of hand as being unimportant. I am glad I was forced to look at the what these last 12 years have given me and not simply what they have cost. While I may not survive another 12 years in the company I know my life has been made far better for the 12 years that have just passed.

Friday Top 5

 

 

Been a while since I did one of these so I figure my birthday is the perfect time to write one. Today I am 2 years old , no I have not been drinking it’s 2 years to the day since I started this blog. That being the case I thought I would do a reminiscent top 5 and, in no specific order, pick my favourite poems I have posted. I have to admit I have enjoyed going back and reading some of what I have written and remembering why I wrote it in the first place. Though on reflection some of it is utter drivel some I still like. Anyway ………….

 

 

No 1.  Blank Page

I wrote this long before I started this blog, it’s probably one of the first poems I actually sat down and purposefully wrote. I guess that gives it a certain sentimental value to me. I was at a point in my life where everything was changing and it seemed like there was simply no respite. I started writing a lot after this and  realised that a blank page offers so much.

 

No 2.  Memories

I am a wonderer at heart, think I have now lived in over 30 houses. Mostly in the UK though there was a short stretch in Malta. I love my city (Edinburgh) with all my heart, it is without doubt one of the greatest and most beautiful cities in the world but I sometime have to leave and this was one of those times. I knew there were people and places I would miss but at the same time I also knew it wouldn’t be forever (doubt it ever will) and that regardless of how hard it was to leave staying just wasn’t an option.

 

No 3. Revenge

So I have been told in the past I have anger issues and with poems like this one I guess it is hard to argue. But just because something is hard doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it. I have no anger issues (any more) sure I get angry and when I snap it is definitely something worth seeing (probably from a distance) but like most people I fume and rant for a bit before getting a grip and moving on. This though I like because sometimes it’s fun torun with the feeling of anger and getting your own back (does that make me a touch mental, ahhhh well never mined)

 

No 4.  Touched With Fortune

OK I admit it I am an old (not that old) romantic, guilty as charged and completely (almost) unashamed of the fact. This poem is nothing more than a story I wish to happen.

 

No 5. Stay With Me

I think anyone that reads my blog with any kind of regularity will probably be tired of me saying that I have the best friends in the world, but you will have to indulge me once more. They are more like family to me and there is not a day that passes I am not grateful each and every one of them. I am not great at sharing feelings/opening up and all that kind of thing and I am far from an easy person to know at times. But somehow whenever I have needed them they have always been there and they will probably never know, because I will never be able to put it into words, just how much they mean to me.

 

Well there you go a reminiscent top 5 for my 2nd birthday. So far this blog has given me far more than I ever thought it could, from an amazing holiday in Spain and new friends across the world to people I have known for years knowing me a little better and me discovering so many amazing blogs that I really need to spend more time reading. I wonder what the next year will bring

 

 

Reminder

They filtered in
Without a word
Sat at ease
Eased his world

It was not said
nor ever asked
What brought them there
What held them fast

A normal night
To any that saw
That lifted his heart
Like few before

A timely reminder
As are they all
That regardless of reason
They will not let you fall

Stay With Me

Stay with me though I show no need
I may never ask with word or deed
Be at my side when I seem OK
With you there I will survive the day
Ignore the smiles and sense the pain
It maybe hidden but yet remain
Hear the anguish underneath the laugh
Return me to the present as I lay in the past
I ask these things too often I know
Though never once have you chosen to go
Whenever I slip you ensure I don’t fall
My blessing, My life, My world, My all